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Holy Molly

Nick Tashiro | January 30th, 2008 2:01pm

You are GOD. Well, you're a physical manifestation of God, y'know, like that Jesus fellow, except this time around you've come to earth as a 10-year-old girl named Molly. While not the most obvious choice for an all-powerful deity's earthly incarnation, apparently you work in mysterious ways, and at the moment you're working to win a bet you've got going with Socrates. You say that you can make a rock so heavy that even you couldn't lift it; he says ya can't. And so, taking the form of a little girl, you manage to (technically) win the wager, (kind of a jerk move on your part, though). Well, Socrates is so P.O.'ed that he forgets all about heaven's one-in-one-out travel policy and chucks your winnings, a sweet Lamborghini Diablo, through the Earth-heaven portal, effectively locking you, God, in Molly form in the mortal realm. Good Lord! It's gonna be at least 24 hours before tech support can reset the server and open the gates of heaven once again. In the mean time, you've still got prayers to answer! And so you must venture abroad into the world of Man to keep the faith alive. The tricky bit is, as Molly, you've got absolutely ZERO divine powers, (at least at first), and so you must answer your children's prayers with your own two little girl hands. Molly will need to perform such run-of-the-road miracles as rescuing kitties from trees and helping the Jets win the Superbowl, but instead of peals of thunder and bolts of lightning, you'll have banana peels and bolt-cutters (among other things). As you answer more and more prayers, you'll gain prayer points, which you can put towards regaining your godly powers while still in the material realm. Upgrade your abilities enough, and you'll find yourself raining down fire, walking on water, and smiting sinners with the best of 'em. Oh, and did I mention that car of yours is possessed by the devil? (It's a Diablo; you shoulda seen it coming). Good luck and Molly speed!

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